4 words.

' This is very good. '

Those were the words that struck me out during the progress discussion and made me feel happy. Yes, my Design lecturer said those words. The very first time a lecturer is actually contented with my mind map for Design. It was a mind map of the 2 random objects for the superhero assignment.

It's not exactly a big deal.

But it kinda is, to me. What the lecturer said gave me the kick in confidence, lets me know that I finally did something right for Design 2, even though it's a pretty small thing, but at least I know I've corrected an error and I'm starting on the right track with the concept of mind mapping. You have to understand, I'm not good with mind maps.

I don't tend to write ideas out properly on paper.

I tend to just think about any ideas in my mind, probably write a word or two (literally) about certain things of the idea in random words (not sentences) that would not make sense to anyone else no matter how they try to understand it.

I was never good with putting my progress/research of assignments on papers, hence the fact that my progress folder was never as thick as the rest of the class, nor as neat, as complete, as good as the rest. My sketches/ideas/progress was always jumbled up, messy, mostly never in proper sequence, and most of the time, it never makes sense to anyone else but me.

That's just the way my mind works.

My mind doesn't think in a sequence like the lecturers would like it to. It doesn't follow the same formula. It just goes around wherever it wants to, whenever it wants to.

Most of the time, it just jumps to the final idea at the last day or two before the dateline, with no research, no mind map, no sketches. The idea just springs out and I turn that idea into the final work. So I really cannot show any mind maps, sketches nor research over the few weeks not because I don't want to, not because I'm too lazy.

It's because there just isn't one.

Because of that problem, I lose my progression marks. Which is a lot and a real pull back of my grades and the impression of me on my lecturers. To them, I am the utmost laziest student they have ever met. (There might be some truth to that.) I cannot control when/how the inspirations come and that is a very big problem in the design industry.

My mind has a mind of it's own.

As odd as that sounds, but it is how it is. I don't know when the ideas will come to me, I don't know when the bulb will light up. It's as if it sets a mental wall to block my idea-thinking side of the brain and doesn't allow me to think of anything good until the dateline nears and it just explodes.

I hope I can tame it down, even if it's a little bit.

♥oves,

vee.